Stressful year, lots to learn

I was just going over what has happened this past year.  It has been quite overwhelming.  Starting in October when I went to stay with my sister while she was on bed rest during her pregnancy.  Then in November, being with her while she was in labor to deliver that too small baby girl named Grace who is now in the loving arms of Jesus.  After Christmas I threw out my back worse than I ever had before.  It took 3 weeks of strict bed rest to feel better.  I still am not 100% on that yet.  Then in January I had horrible tooth pain, and needed a root canal.  The Dentist gave me clindamycin (WARNING! Don’t EVER take this medicine!).  It gave me ulcers all down my throat and stomach.  A week after finishing the medicine I was in Hospice House all week with a dear friend that passed away from cancer, Feb 1st.  The next day after that I was horribly ill with stomach pains and couldn’t leave the bathroom for a week.  At this time, my sister that lost her baby started hemorrhaging horribly and almost died.  She had to have an emergency D&C, blood transfusions and almost didn’t make it.  It was so scary for me, how could I focus on myself when she was so sick.  I wanted to be with her.  After finding out she was ok I decided to go to the Dr. in a few days on Monday.  But by Monday, it wasn’t getting better at all, and I went to the hospital instead.  The first ER sent me home (to die!) 2 hours later we went to a much better hospital and they admitted me for 5 days with C Diff. Colitis.  A deadly stomach infection.  I was in really bad shape.  The illness has taken almost all of my muscle and has left me weak, and intolerant to sugar/milk products.  It is now May, I finished my last dose of medicine 2 weeks ago and we are praying I am finally C Diff free.  We are moving to TX next month and I have to pack up the house myself since my husband is already in TX.  I look back at these times, and it amazes me how God can carry us through these difficult times.  So many days I didn’t know how I would make it.  So many days I just wanted to give up.  It was all too much to deal with.  Somehow, God took my hand and led me through the trials.  He carried me when I couldn’t be strong, He took care of my family when I couldn’t do it.  It is true, you never know what you can handle until you have been through something terrible and have gotten stronger through it all.  It’s amazing to me to know all that has happened and to sit here and be able to say that God is good.  God has taught me so much through this.  He taught me that a baby is a baby, even at 19 weeks.  To hold a perfectly formed human at that age is amazing.  I have no idea how people can say it’s only tissue.  It’s a real live human, beautiful and perfectly formed.  I learned to eat healthy and to really go back to the basics with cooking.  I learned to love and cherish my family more every day because we never know how long we have.  I learned that I am stronger than I thought.  I CAN be sick and teach my kids.  I CAN be there for a loved one and still keep my house in order.  It’s hard, and tiring, but it can be done.  I prayed a lot during this time, and I always felt God’s comfort and love.  I never once felt neglected by Him.  He loves us and wants us to lean on Him.  He did not want sickness, and death to be a part of our world.  He is the One we need to lean on.  I do not regret anything that has happened to me because through it all, I learned to cherish more and to love more.  To be compassionate in ways I never was able to before.  I thank God for my trials because they bring me closer to Him, and that is a great place to be!

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This entry was posted in My life.

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